What Love Is Not…

Based on Love vs. Friendship I got into a discussion what love is not.

Love is not, if one forces you to love. Or manipulates you. If one threatens to suicide if you don’t love. Neither if one dominates you, bosses you - nor if one beats you. Many times, love is mistaken for it. But that is not love!

Yes, under these circumstances one may dominate. It usually is part of a good relation that you complement each other. What the one can, the other may be less good at. Like I can handle electricity and telephones, but I am not good at wallpapers and renovation. Or I like to cook (preferrably not alone though), but my cleaning readiness needs the one or other push occassionally. Yeah, that’s me. Other couples have different setups. But none of my friends threaten their spouses to make them stay. None bosses around, but all show a deep respect for their own.
We all have our flaws, shortcomings, roughes and edges. That does not make us any better or worse than another. If you don’t love your loved ones with all these edges and flaws, sorry, you do not love.

Reliability I was asked. Reliability is part of honesty and respect. If I tell you I do something for a friend, I do it at all cost. Sometimes even if it was meant as a joke Reliability is important!

Intolerable Cruelty: Knowingly giving false hope to one you know loves you.
The result must be him/her suffering! The longer it takes, the more suffering…

» Jürgen